


Will Graham's descent

by Misty_Sea



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Denial of Feelings, Descent into Madness, Desire, F/M, Feelings Realization, M/M, Violent Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-20 02:30:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14251140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misty_Sea/pseuds/Misty_Sea
Summary: Will Graham's descent.  He is changing.  Hannibal is there to help him, but Will is not sure if it is helping or hurting and he feels something when he sees Hannibal.





	1. Will's Clock

**Author's Note:**

> This I plan to have a few chapters. It is about his shaky reality. And all the things that come from that.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Graham finds he is losing time, but what is time exactly that is being lost? Is it numbers on a clock face, or a part of his soul? He finds after working with Hannibal, that Hannibal is the only thing that feels normal to him and can keep him together.  
> But Hannibal has his own dark secrets within the shutted doors. Alana Bloom is also allying on Wills side, and in his own way so is Jack. But despite so much help a voice from the dark is calling for Will and has a message for him.

My name is Will Graham. I am drawing a simple clock. Just like every other clock.  
I of course know all about clocks and this test is stupid. But I humor my psychiatrist Hannibal and draw it again for the hundredth time. I don't know how many of these damn things I'm going to have to do. He takes it, looks at it, says nothing and tucks it away. I ask him what the results mean? He just gives a placating smile. He's told me before the same things, but they don't mean much do they? Psychiatrist speak, many words that say nothing.  
After wards he walks me to my car. I know I am worryingly unsteady, "not normal," which is why he is walking me to my car. Electric shoots inside of me with each foot fall. Finally i reach the car. He touches my shoulder as he helps me in my car. He shouldn't do that. His soft warm fingers grazing me through my shirt, jolting me. I don't like when people touch me normally. With him I don't know. I get in the car but still he lingers over me, like a great stone. I stare at his mouth as it tightens into a frown. I swear he is about to say something. But no, he just says goodbye politely and disappears, walking off, his shadowy silhouette trailing away. Leaving a vacuum of space behind where he just was. It is very quiet out here. Suddenly I'm aware of being very alone. I swallow thickly, pushing away my feelings as turn the key in the car, bringing it to life.  
I drive down the highway. But I feel very weary from the day. My car streaks across the yellow line and i push the steering wheel till it glides back. That happens more then once. I am even more tired then I thought. Maybe that was what he was going to say, that I shouldn't be driving, and he would drive me home instead? That's silly. Why would I think that? My eyes shutter closed and then back open, as the long stretching road seems to uncoil endless ahead, and endless behind as if I had been driving forever and still had forever to go, an eternal snake that never ends, an oroboros. And then the edges of a dream form inside, something beautiful underneath the lids, I snatch pieces of it. Something black, like a key or something, I can't tell. I snap my eyes awake and veer my steering wheel back to center, as my car whips around trying to keep balanced. I drop my foot on the pedal with a sharp screeeech sound. It stops just in time. A stag is there, inches in front of the vehicle. I am choking and my breath lost in great gusts. When I calm down I get out of the car to see it's still there. So still. I am taken aback by it's strong posture, and it's great branching antlers twisting up into the sky. Then I notice it's large brown eyes filled with soul, almost like a humans, or something even more staring right back into me.  
I creep up to it, reaching a shaking hand out to it. But in a quick second it leaps and it's gone. I think about running after it, but soon it's lost in the thickets. I look that way for a while wondering if by chance it will it to come back, or if it really was there to begin with. Or perhaps I'm just even more tired then I had thought before.  
I crawl back to the car, too drained to get to my feet. And somehow drive the rest of the way home.  
All that night I go in and out of sleep and waking. Till the concept of time is lost. And I realize I am lost. I feel in this great blankness that time has lost it's meaning for me, day or night, that and places too, whiteness stretches out blotching out all the things I felt I knew. Replacing the internal places with a new view. Which is engulfing nothingness.  
How long can a person live in a vacuum before they are irreparably changed? What person will I be when the dust clears? Will I still be me after all of this is said and done, or someone else? 

I am in Jacks office now. He is pacing before me. He doesn't look pleased. Please don't show me a body. Please, let it be a normal day. I mentally whisper. "Will I need you to come with me."  
"Not a crime scene?"  
"Please prepare yourself."  
~

Will can hear the melody of Alana's angry trill in the other room speaking to Jack. It soothes him. Will has got her rhythm down, and is following along.  
"Where was he for the last 24 hours?" says Alana.  
"I told you already, I don't know."  
"That isn't good enough. Will is suffering, can't you see that?" Jack shakes his head. his brows creased considering.  
"I don't think he is well enough to keep doing this."  
"Hannibal has said that he's fine. I'm going to trust in his doctor."  
"I don't know, I don't understand it, Hannibal's beyond competent. But I just feel in my gut something is wrong in all this."  
"And I will consider your thoughts on this." 

~

Jack opens the room, light spills in from the hall.  
"Do you know where you are?" He says in a warm voice.  
Will nods quickly. "I am in your office."  
"Yes that's right. And do you know where you went yesterday after work?"  
"I went home and slept."  
"No Alana drove by last night to check on you, you never arrived home."  
Will looks back confused. "Where's Hannibal? I want to talk to Hannibal. It's my appointment date isn't it?" Will whines pathetically.  
"Hannibal had to cancel this week to deal with some family matter. He will see you as soon as he can."  
"No, he made this appointment for me. I need to speak to him!"  
"Just rest a little while ok. We aren't going to look at any bodies today. So just close your eyes and rest"  
"No? But you need me I thought."  
"Don't worry about it. We can work on it another time."  
"But.. I can't help it, it doesn't make sense, another day can mean more victims." 

Will reluctantly obeys closes his eyes tiredly, feeling the ache of exhaustion taking over but he still hears Jack's voice above him still talking to him, telling him in to rest. it will do him good. Will tries and nods to Jack agreeing with him, somewhere deep within his shell but is unable to quite get that message to the body to shake his head. Then Jacks warm parental voice turns into silence. A dead body comes into focus, blueish skin and brown on the clothes, rotting in front him, wide eyes staring wild back at him. Will can feel himself breathing faster and faster. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More chaos of an unstable mind, and an unstable world. Anything is possible I believe here. So it is somewhere between AU and canon. Not sure where at the moment though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick chapter. I don't know what I am doing. It's not at all 'structured.' and I have never written a fanfiction except really privately before. So that maybe doesn't help. Anyways... I apologize for the sense of randomness. I sincerely hope it is going somewhere.

Hello. Will Graham here. Though where is here. I ask people, but no one will tell me where I am. So I cycle through my memories, what memories I have to put together the puzzle.  
And all I can think is I am sitting in a room and there he is, all put together, his voice coaxing me out of my shell. The shell I have worn for everyone else for as long as i can remember. Coaxing me into the light of truth. His and mine. Where we could forge a new place together. And I do. Staring into his eyes I bare my soul to him little by little.  
I have nothing but fragments now. But they say I cannot have him. He is wild and a beast. A force of evil. Would i give up my soul to sit at his table? 

But he is always there in my head purring, you cannot me. You and I are the same. And in the upper planes, we will always together. 

Today I woke up in the field next to my house covered in blood, with a small cayote on my lap, limp. Funny. I just dreamed I tore a cayote up with my hands and knife, Blood pooling out of it, and here it is. Did that really happen? I killed in my sleep?  
I gently set the animal down on the dirt, burying it quickly. Then jogging back to the house.  
Jack could be here anytime to come take me away. So I clean myself up quick. As though I was just the same person as ever before. And it's not that hard to do. I believe it myself. 

There is a small lump of dirt bulging out the ground near the house as Jack and I drive away. I watch it grow small in the distance, as Jack focuses on the road. 

~

Jack takes me to a man who has carved wings out of the flesh of people to watch over him. Angels. Peace in the sight of death. Peace and horror together. I can hear the room screaming, but he was resting soundly. But no one but me seems to be able to hear the cries. Coming out of the walls, the floors, everywhere. Their ghosts circling around me, trying to strangle me, cut off my air.  
I am pushing my hands in the air to get them off of me, they are sobbing, but the sound is also mixed with relief. His. He found redemption in their cries, and could rest. I lay on the bed and from here I feel the decay inside me, eating me alive, which is his cancer. Loss of control, a universal fear. But now he has found peace, while other ghosts are left screaming. Was it worth it? 

I have never been so angry at Jack as i am today. I can't do this anymore. I can't. I have to get out of this, or else.

~~

In Hannibal's office. Hannibal's facing Will, chair faces each other, confronting.  
"What purpose do these violent instincts serve?" says Hannibal.  
"I don't have violent instincts."  
"If you don't get at the bottom of what is the cause, something terrible may happen," Hannibal let's that linger. "You may get overwhelmed with these and act out on them."  
"And you'll help me from this?"  
"Maybe. I'm not really sure yet. Would you tell me your dark fantasy?"  
"Will you tell me yours?"  
"No. I am here to talk about you, not me. That is what is appropriate in a therapist client relationship?"  
"Have you ever crossed boundaries on a therapist client relationship?"  
"No."  
Will stares at Hannibal, but he doesn't budge. Will turns his head and breaks contact. "Do you think I'll get better?"  
Will says sadly. "I think so. But only time will tell. It always does. Will draw me a clock."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for putting up with me. :) I think I said sexual tension and of course that turned out to be a complete and utter load of bs. But well, I think maybe next chapter.. Maybe with practice I will get better at this.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading my story. I will in the next chapter plan to have some sort of sexual tension there. though i know it's a bit lacking in that department so far.  
> Plus more trouble for Will. As he starts to question his sanity.


End file.
